Buddhist Dyslexia: Finding Wants in a World of Happiness

There are times when I have to stop and ask myself just what my f**king problem is. Honestly, I have no clue. My biggest practical concerns are roughly on par with which flavor ice cream to buy, and not a day goes by that somebody doesn’t disprove my well-traveled theory that I’m worthless.

It was suggested to me recently, as I was lamenting one lack or another, that “everything I wanted was right in front of me.” I balked at the idea, of course, but as a cooler head prevailed, it started me thinking... why search for wants in a world of happiness?

On the face of it, it seems pathological. Why on earth would we want to make ourselves unhappy? If we could choose the weather, would we choose a biting rain? If we could choose to be wrapped in a scent, would we choose “Rotting Garbage No. 5?” Of course not. So why consistently choose unhappiness, jealousy, envy, disappointment, resentment, frustration, anger, impatience?

Perhaps thinking of it as pure “choice” is misguided. The self-help books preach the idea that we choose our destinies, our lives, our emotions, and there can be great value in this. But my misreading the magazine was not a conscious choice. I did not ask myself whether I wanted to mix the words around, it just happened.

The “choice” is in what to do afterwards, of course, once the nagging subconscious has been recognized. The Buddha was wise enough to note that the starting point is and always will be dukkha, or disquietude (“suffering” if you prefer), and that the ability to find happiness requires effort, not the simple flipping of a mental switch.

Which is why we study, practice, write and read blog posts, and walk the Eightfold Path as best we can. But if there was a lesson in my Buddhist dyslexia it could be this: slow down, read the words, and don’t assume you know what’s coming. It might just be happiness, right in front of you.