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28 Day Meditation Challenge: Listening to my body can be more challenging than listening to my mind

Greeting love bugs. It's week two of Sharon's 28 Day Meditation Challenge, and this week we're getting into the body - Body scans, walking meditation and body sensation exercises. This is a bit too perfectly aligned with my own issues: 1) coming down from a terrible bacterial infection which I allowed to fester for over a month 2) working through a second round of antibiotics to clear the gunk and 3) experiencing completely insane mood swings due to said medication. The first day of the second round I could be found looking at people dreamy-eyed on the train, tears in my eyes at the beauty of it all and feeling euphoric over the idea that if there was death, I was already dead, and that is what would consequently free me to live fully and authentically. The next day, however, I was in a tirade over the fact that my dear partner hesitated when I asked her to pick up a beloved bottle of perfume during her lunch hour.

I so wish I was joking.

Additionally, said medication makes my body tired. Real tired. And as a 12+ hours a week gym, cycling, running and yoga girl, this represents simply another physical limitation for me to transcend. Except it doesn't. That is, if I was actually listening to my body instead of transfixed by a very rigid and rigorous schedule. (Funny how being so frightfully body-centered can begin to buckle on itself if not tempered with mindfulness.) Consequently, I've been avoiding the body scan...surprised? Me neither. But today I do it. And this is precisely why I LOVE this challenge because it sets the stage for you and I  to commit to explore things that make us uncomfortable. And this, for the learning, fallible creatures we are, is critical.

Happy Friday loves.

"A very good place to become familiar with the way mindfulness work is always close by - our own bodies. Investigating physical sensations is one of the best ways for us to learn to be present with whatever is happening in the moment, and to recognize the difference between direct experience and the add-ons we bring to it." - Sharon Salzberg

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Comments

e!!!!

i am so with you on the objectification. p.s. we still need to bust out the yoga class. so much love.

ouch

Ouch, I know antibiotics, esp the strong ones, are tough on the system.

I know it's hard for me to let my body do what it needs sometimes. I have a nagging shoulder issue that has slowly eroded my ability to do chattaranga over the years, and I used to think it had eroded my practice, too. Until I really started tuning in and realizing that the nagging shoulder injury wasn't interfering with my practice. It was just part of my practice.

That all sounds love and lighty and Look, every cloud has a silver lining! There's a blessin' in the lesson! but that's not exactly what I mean.

Sometimes there isn't really a lesson, and it didn't happen to make me a "better" person. It just hurts or gets infected, and it's part of my practice now to try to deal with that simply and directly.

I still find it really hard not to objectify my own body and see it as for or against what some imaginary "I" wants to do. I keep reminding myself about the "I," that's it's not permanent and not separate from the body that gives rise to it. Tweak the physical components that give rise to the brain and "I" behave differently. (witness, Ellen on PMS, or the "let's eat a package of bacon and kill all the men" Ellen) Some permanent "I" there!

Good luck with the infection. I'm sure nine million people have told you to "eat lots of yogurt!" after antibiotics. If they haven't they will.

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