What Would Sid Do: I'm Addicted to my E-mail

Have a question for this weekly column? E-mail it here and I'll probably get to it!
 

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I've found myself checking my e-mail morning, afternoon, and night. It's like it's become an addiction for me! What Would Sid do about this one?

 

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While I may be young, I can remember the days when we didn’t have the internet. Days without funny cat videos or online chatting or instant porn. Days when you would look at a paper map to get somewhere and, when you inevitably got lost, you were forced to pull over and offer an awkward admission to a complete stranger that you had no idea where you were and, frankly, were at the mercy of their limited knowledge of the area.

I hopped in a cab the other day and told the taxi driver the destination. After a short pause he responded, “You know how to get there?” We were both clueless. Undeterred I took out my iPhone. Ten minutes later I was at my destination. While paying, the cab driver said, “Boy, what did we ever do without those smart phones, huh?”

After that short interaction I got to thinking about technology and the dharma. I couldn’t recall any great sutra that addressed what to do when your e-mail inbox was full or the compassionate way to JDate.

In my personal contemplations I could see both positive and negative aspects of how e-mail has infiltrated our lives. Ultimately, I came to the realization that e-mail is a tool like any other. For example, we can use a hammer to put a nail in our wall and put up art or we can use a hammer as a deadly weapon. E-mail too can be used to bring beauty to the world or can create stress and harm. With that in mind, I propose a few simple guidelines for how to relate to your e-mail problem in a sane and compassionate way:

Know Your Intention and Stick to it

A computer can be used for idle entertainment or for efficiently doing work. When you pick it up, know what you intend to use it for and keep coming back to that intention.

Be Specific

Map out when and how you will relate to your e-mail. You have already discerned that you don't want it to be part of your entire day. The next step is then to say exactly between what hours you want to attend to your inbox. Then, stick to that plan. This leads us to another guideline...

Learn to Relate to Habitual Routine

So many of us roll out of bed, reach for our phone, and check our e-mail. This in itself is not bad but if you have a difficult relationship to e-mail you might want to reconsider this knee-jerk wake-up. Instead, get up, practice, brush your teeth, have some coffee, or do whatever it is you like to do before opening up the day's work. Whenever you feel that pull to reach for your laptop, check in and see if you really want to engage e-mail or if you're just looking for a distraction of some sort.

Know What E-mail is For

No matter how well written the e-mail, it lacks all the physical and vocal cues that other forms of interaction include. When technology begins to interrupt genuine communication you know you are straying from using your computer well. In other words, don't rely on e-mail to replace your regular human interactions.

Instead of just leaping in and considering e-mail as a problem you can create certain parameters around your relationship to it so that you use this tool as an efficient way to interact with others. By knowing your intention right when you begin to click on your inbox you have a reference point for what you want to accomplish. From there you can be specific about how long you want to sit with your e-mail.

 

When you are done, don't give in to that nagging urge to keep checking e-mail morning, noon, and night. Allow some space in your life when you're not hooked in to your computer. By allowing yourself that space you will have more time for genuine interactions that aren't produced by clicking on a keyboard. And, as always, be gentle with yourself. We got by fine without smart phones before and we certainly can live a meaningful life without always being plugged into the internet now.

 

 

Have a question for this weekly column? E-mail it here and I'll probably get to it!