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Advice for Dealing with Anger: Rolling, Prancing and Flapping
I am back in New York for a few weeks and noticing my angry thought patterns as I wait for buses in the bone chilling cold, as I stare at passer-by and pout about my to-do list. The truth is, I do this in Seattle to. Sometimes I am just seething and sad.
The only difference I see is that in Seattle people better hide their aggression. In NY, I feel completely comfortable exclaiming F**K! if I miss a bus. In Seattle people would look at you like you were crazy. I generally don’t yell in public anymore (I made a decision to stop a few years ago), but the feelings of aggression are the same.
Yesterday, after a talk at The Interdependence Project, I was still feeling stressed (and had a terrible stomach ache). Instead of yelling or cursing or even complaining, I took the opportunity offered by the open space, to roll around on the floor and run across the room. As soon as I started to roll, the anger begins to feel like sadness. Then I ran it out. Actually I was prancing. I suggest trying this.
Try this too: Flap your arms around, make sounds, have a good cry and then settle down with a fewbreaths. I always find that I walk away from this feeling more graceful. Anger and aggression often feel like clunky appendages to me. Sometimes they call me to act, so roll and prance and flap, maybe it will help.
There are lots of ways to become embodied. Mindfulness of the body can be achieved just by sitting of course, but we also need to move to know our bodies when they are stomping, flowing, prancing or swaying. This Saturday The Interdependence Project is having a FREE day of movement practices that you might want to check out. And of course, you can try this in your home.
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Thanks.
Meredith,
Thank you for offering this. There seems to be a delicate balance between when finding a way to let the energy of anger out in a non-destructive way, and not feeding it more energy at the same time.
Flapping arms like wings sounds like a great idea. I will try it next time my Kale chips go missing...
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