Drama Queen at The Three Doors To Liberation

“What is drama and what is dharma? I guess you could say drama is illusion that acts like truth, and dharma is truth itself-the way things are, the basic state of reality that does not change from day to day according to fashion or our mood or agenda”

Ponlop Rinpoche Rebel Buddha on the road to freedom

Being a certified Drama Queen, I find this statement very hard to believe. 

Really? The basic state of reality does not change? If this is true, then that means that only our feelings about it change, which means, our feelings control our view of any situation.

Feelings are reactions to thoughts. Thoughts are reactions to sense perceptions. In meditation we work with sensing. The problem with this is that we are all very old and every single thing we sense reminds us of something we have sensed before.

This chirping bird brings great pleasure as I remember the chirping bird on retreat last summer. A pain in my foot makes me angry because “why have I been having this pain for so long and will I have it forever?”. The smell of car exhaust brings intoxicatingly happy memories. A spring breeze can plunge my heart in sadness. Certain faces inspire fear, others love, others indifference.

We have thought memories and body memory. We don’t always understand which is which. Our drama is embedded in the fibers of our web of perception.

Meditation offers an opportunity to untangle this web a bit. In the moments when the fibers loosen, you may feel a bit unlike yourself. At those moments, I sometimes I notice myself tightening the thread. Maybe I am supposed to be all wrapped up. If I wasn’t so tied up, what would I be wearing?

What does it mean to sense something in the present moment?

The three doors to liberation (which I first read about in this book by Thich Nhat Hanh) are said to be emptiness, aimlessness and signlessness.  Sometimes aimlessness is referred to are desirelessness or wishlessness.

Emptiness is not always referring back to self. Seeing the myriad of webs in many lights.

Signlessness is the essence of being present. Constant curiosity. A curiosity that might disorient us from our solid state of knowing what is going on.

Aimlessness is letting go of the intense need to squeeze some drama juice from every single moment.

So as spring and summer settle into your skin, make some room by loosening the web. Maybe your skin can breath for the first time.

Pre-drama breath.