Dorje's letter to a friend

Dear Dharma Brother,

This was my main practice on my personal retreat. Every morning I would wake up and do 15 min of each of the four immesurables based on this guided instruction given by the incomparable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche (Pema Chodron's main teacher). Which was a really... almost indescribable way to start a day. This also takes my mind's habit of thinking a whole lot in the morning, which usually leads to wild distraction, depression, low self-esteem etc... and it puts those neurotic habits to good use. It replaces my neurotic morning thinking with enlightened morning thinking. Then thinking becomes, not a problem. It actually becomes part of the solution. As Rinpoche says "The solution to all problems obviously lie within the problem."
     I would wake up and have these lines in front of me and read them, meditate a bit, and then read some more till the 15 min ding, then I'd move on to the next immeasurable. I now do it on the train when I'm heading to my clients to re-orient my mind to something meaningful, which allows me to effortless renounce my neurotic mind. It's all about replace neurotic habits with enlightened habits. There is no better way to start the day. These meditations have helped me turn the energy of my neuroses into a guide of sorts, which makes the whole your obstacles are your path make more sense.
 

Loving Kindness also happens to be the direct antidote to anxiety (which is a more subtle form of aggression)

As Rinpoche says "Buddhism has nothing to do with beliefs, it has everything to do with lived experience." So try this for a week everyday and journal afterwards and non-judgmentally notice any changes that take place. This kind of contemplatitve meditation works wonders whether you are freaking out or whether you are totally chill. It can sound harsh at times, but that's because it needs to be to cut through what we're so desperately clinging on to. And remember this is just retraining your inclinations from self centered to other centered, which is the end of suffering. Ethan's Dad says it's retraining your Freudian slip. These contemplations are the womb that Bodhisattvas are born from.



Putting effort into practicing the four immeasurables every day in our life and giving rise to aspiration bodhichitta really does seem to work as protection against our own old habits, the disturbing emotions that surge uncontrollably and take up space in our mind. It also works as a way to cleanse them when they do arise and also to transform them. To practice the four immeasurables every day is highly recommended.
   The whole point of becoming a student of the Buddha Dharma is to transform mind. If this does it, which I think it does very well, then we should cherish this.

Lets begin with loving-kindness. Close your eyes, and imagine limitless space. In the same way that space is limitless, sentient beings are innumerable. The deepest desire and longing of all sentient beings is for happiness and the causes of happiness.
   Now, meditate on your own desire and longing for happiness and on the causes and conditions of happiness. This desire is constant. Just as this is the case for you, clearly realize that it is the same for all sentient beings. You and all others have the same longing, the same deep desire and wish. There is no difference between you and other sentient beings.
   How intense this longing is, and how constant! There are so many ways in which we try to achieve this happiness. Realize that the same happens to all beings: There is no difference between you and other sentient beings.
   Because we are caught in our own self-absorption, we fail to realize what is happening to all sentient beings. Try to eliminate this self-absorption. Try to understand what is universal to the minds of all sentient beings. Make a connection between what is happening in you and what is happening in everybody else. Recognize that all sentient beings are equal.
   And then wish that all beings, including yourself, may be happy and obtain the causes and conditions of happiness, on both the relative and ultimate level.
   In terms of the relative level, think of all the ways in which sentient beings wish to have their needs fulfilled, from the basic needs of a hungry person who wants food, to anything that could possibly be desired or wished for. Make the aspiration prayer for all these wishes to be fulfilled and for all the causes and conditions of happiness to arise.
   And then pray, over and over again,

   May all sentient beings be happy and obtain the causes and conditions of happiness.

   Using yourself as an example, you can come to know the wish of all beings, the universal wish. Aspire to fulfill the universal wish of all sentient beings. Why limit your prayer to yourself? Why limit to only some people? Make your aspiration include all sentient beings.
   Is there any point in wishing solely for your own happiness? Is there any point in wishing for only some people to be happy? Realize that this kind of segregation has never made any great difference in our lives or in the world, and is based upond our biased mind. This bias consists of your own attachments. Your attachments have not led you in a good direction in the past, and will not lead you in a good direction in the future.
   Therefore, try to make your wish impartial. Cover the whole of space, and include all sentient beings. Then think,

   May all sentient beings be happy and obtain the causes and conditions of happiness.

   Repeat this in your mind again and again. Go deeper and deeper into what you feel as you repeat this line of the prayer over and over.
   then look at how intensely your mind is dedicated to your own comfort and happiness. Recognize your mind's deep longing, your constant effort, your twenty-four-hours-a-day, nonstop desire. Realize that it is the same for all beings, and make their longing and desire equally important to your own.
    Think of how wonderful it would be if every sentient being could attain happiness. Then think of yourself or a small number of beings attaining happiness and what a limited achievement that would be. Why not pray for all beings to attain happiness and the causes of happiness?
   And then repeat,

    May all beings be happy; may all beings obtain the causes and conditions of happiness.

   When you are happy, how does it touch you? when you obtain the causes and conditions of happiness, how do you feel? How do you experience joy and happiness? It is exactly the same for all sentient beings, so try to visualize this, repeating the prayer in your mind again and again and again.
   From time to time, reflect on how hard your heart has become in that it does not feel very much nor does it contain the genuine wish for the happiness of all sentient beings.
   Develop a sense of sadness and renunciation about this, and again wish for all sentient beings to be happy and enjoy the causes and conditions of happiness. Repeat the prayer over and over and over again.
   And then think how wonderful it would be if you could open your heart wider, make it more tender, and deepen your concern and care for all beings. Pray for the welfare of all: Inspire yourself, make the wish, and then repeat the first line of the prayer to yourself again and again and again.
   Realize that the attainment of every positive worldly and spiritual quality- the path to the higher realms of worldly nature, such as the human and god realms; the path of liberation from samsara; and the path of enlightenment---depends on our genuine wish to develop a good heart. Realize the significance of cultivating a good heart, and wish that all sentient beings may be happy and obtain the causes and conditions of happiness.
   Think of all the goodness that you have received, both in the past and the present. This goodness is the result of the kindness of all sentient beings. Someone other than yourself has given it to you.
   If it were not for others, you would not have a body to be born into. You would be wandering in the intermediate state like a lost soul, forever and ever. So this body, and the privilege of sight, hearing, and all the other senses and functions of the body, are received as a gift from others. Here, the significant others are your own parents. By remembering the various ways in which your parents expressed their kindness to you, make the wish to express the same kindness to all sentient beings, thinking,

May all beings be happy and obtain the causes and conditions of happiness.

   Next, consider how you would not have survived if you had been abandoned at birth. Instead , you were embraced and nirtured, fed, clothed, educated, and shown how to fit into society. As the capable adult you are now, your qualities have come from the kindness of others, particularly from the significant kindness expressed by your parents. On this basis, wish that all being may be happy and attain the causes and conditions of happiness.
   Realize that all beings have at some point been your parents. Just as your current parents have cared for you in this life, all other beings have cared for you in the past. Feel the deep kindness that you have received from your own parents, and remember that you have received the same kindness from all beings without exception. On this basis repeat;

   May all beings be happy and obtain the causes and conditions of happiness.
 
   In the various ways mentioned here, and in other ways as well, try to make this wish genuine. You know it is genuine when you feel that your constant longing for personal happiness and all the various ways in which you attempt to achieve that becomes a longing for the happiness of all sentient beings. Be glad if this aspiration arises naturally. Until that point arrives, vow to train your mind so that one day you will reach it.

Sympathetic Joy

   Next, think of someone who is happy and of whom you are jealous. How could you be jealous become somebody else is happy? Since your aim is to develop bodhichitta, loving-kindness, compassion, and a good heart, how could you possibly be jealous?
   Instead, inspire yourself to be genuinley happy that both you and this other person have obtained the caues and conditions of happiness, whatever the cause of the other person's joy.
   Consider the other person's joy as if it were your own achievement, and rejoice from deep within your heart, without the slightest hint of jealousy. Completely overcome your jealousy. See how jealousy ruins your attempts at cultivating a kind and compassionate heart and universal, supreme bodhichitta.
   It is in fact extremely rare for someone to obtain the causes and conditoins of happiness and be really happy in samsara. So when this does happen, it is far more appropriate to rejoice than to be jealous and condemnatory. Therefore, rejoice from deep within your heart.
   Remember that all these beings are your parents. When they are happy, you can rejoice. Think of how all sentient beings are exactly the same as you. When you are happy, you must enjoy and appreciate your happiness, as it is the result of your merit. In the same way, when somebody else is happy, they must enjoy their happiness, becaust it is the result of their merit. So what is the point of being jealous? How unnatural and ignoble jealousy is!
   Therefore, rejoice deeply, with a pure heart. Rejoice with a fresh mind, and embrace other people's happiness as if it were your own. Since there is really no difference between you and other sentient beings, rejoice in other people's achievements as if they were your own.
   Then rejoice in the achievements of the supreme beings, the buddhas and bodhisattvas. Rejoice in the freedom that they have gained and the noble qualities they have achieved.
   Whenever you hear any good news, rejoice; whenever you see or come to know about something that is good, rejoice, rather than be jealous or neutral.
   Rejoice without a trace of indifference or jealousy, as if the achievement were your own or that of a mother sentient beings whom you love. Then repeat the third line of the prayer again and again.

   May all never be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering.

Wishing them all to attain more and more happiness, continue to recite the prayer.

Equanminity

Realize that you must develop loving-kindness, compassion, and sympathetic joy in equal measure towards all beings. Every sentient being has been your parent and is in the same situation as you. Every sentient being desires to be happy, wants to obtain the causes and conditions of happiness, and desires to be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
   Because there is not even a single way in which you are different from other sentient beings in this regard, you must develop equanimity towards all beings. Attachment, aggression, and ignorance blind us to this deep connection. Remember that life changes. Throughout your past lives, into the present one and on into the future ones, our relationships, feelings, love, care, and compassion change if they are based on ignorance.

May all beings abide in equanimity, free from attachment, aggression, and ignorance.

As attachment and aggression are not reliable, you must develop equanimity in relation to loving-kindness, compassion, and sympathetic joy. These qualities are based on something real, something that is untainted by attachment, aggression, and ignorance. These qualities are based on relying on all sentient beings as if there were your mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, or child, as they all have been. Regarding yourself and others as equal, wish for all sentient beings to be happy and free from suffering.
   Then, reflect on the fact that we are all deluded. in reality, samsara and suffering truly do not exist. They are only a delusion and a dream, and we are all bound to that delusion.
  Therefore, on the basis of the four immesurables, wish that all mother sentient beings might obtain freedom from the delusion of samsara and suffering, may they obtain the true nirvana of the innate enlightened dharmakaya.

-From Uncommon Happiness by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche